DHI Demon Hunting Investigation
Written by PeteyGunn;edited by Mini
Episode 1 Prologue
A cat-girl ,a jester and the DHI
"Another day in this god-awful world",
he said and leaned backwards in his chair, making a squeaky noise.
"And another day with no case"
,he thought to himself and stared at his window into the darkness.
"It is a dangerous, dark world. A world filled with demons and only ONE can save the day.
Thats me.
They call me the Demon-slayer,
the Savior of humanity.
My name is..."
-"Mr.Gunn?"
-"Huh?"
Mr.Gunn stood in a theatrical pose infront of his window suprised about the interruption.
-"Why did you interrupted you my speech, my lovely secretary Carry?"
-"Secretary? SECRETARY?!!",
her voice was getting louder,
-"who saved your ass like say every time?
WHO, in goddamn HELL, prevented the demons ripping your heart out of your useless body?"
-"Only because of your two arguments, you know what"
he said smiling.
-"I hope for the LITTLE rest of YOUR manhood you were referring to my "Psycho Sisters",
she said and pushed her machine and shotgun combination, the so-called Psycho Sisters, against his crotch with a sinister smile.
-"S-s-sure, what else I would I be referring to, my dear?"
-"Arrgh you are such an idiot",
she said and slammed her guns into it, sending him flying against the wall.
-"Anyways here is your next case, our great savior",
her voice got sarcastic,
-"Its about some captured cat-girl maiden. Just the perfect thing for your perverted mind."
and threw the case file onto him.
-"She was last seen in Tokyo nearby some kind of gang.
Quick put on some clothes,make the bed and HURRY UP!",
her voice got louder again.
-"Aye....aye...",
he silently mumbled, stood up and made himself, and the bed, ready,
-"Lets go to JAPAN!"
-Chapter 1-
-"Ah how sad, there was only one room left",
Petey joked while lying next to Carry massaging her.
-"Yes, VERY sad..."
Carry responded,
-"You know that when you grab the wrong section you are a dead man right?"
-"Yes my dear I know.
-"Anyways where should we search for the cat-girl?"
-"There is some mysterious man called G.
We should start there."
-"Yeah we should, tomorrow, let us sleep first.
Night, sweetheart."
-"Night."
After he made the bed, they were going to the building where the G-man lives.
-"Huh, well this is where he lives?",
he said while they were standing before the old, dark building.
-"Yes, let us get in and KICK SOME ASS!",
Carry responded.
-"Uhh, okay just let me talk to him first okay?"
-"Fine.",
she said and held her weapons back down but still ready.
Petey opened the door, holding his magnum taped with a flashlight on top and lightened up the room.
-"You know they sell a flashlight-upgrade in our weapon shop right?",
she whispered.
-"Yeah ..and?"
-"Nothing, I'm just saying, maybe you WOULD be acknowledged when you use a high brand, things like... umm I don't know a freaking MAGNUM with a FLASHLIGHT-UPGRADE?"
-"Hey, this is an original magnum and the flashlight is an original Mag-lite."
-"Whatever. Lets just find this G-man already."
Petey lightened up the way before them while they were carefully walking into the darkness.
-"You know its dark here. Someone could grope you and you won´t see it coming."
-"You know, I could smack you with my guns again into you-know-what."
-"You can punch your guns into me any time, baby",
he joked.
-"Arrrgh, if we weren't sneaking I would kick you right there instead.",
she responded.
-"Oh there a door.", he said and pointed his light onto the door.
Slowly and carefully he opened it and lightened the room.
-"AHHH, YOU blinded ME!",
a man screamed,
"Who the hell are you?"
-"I am Petey Gunn, demon-slayer, and this is my se-... ehh partner Carry and we are DHI, Demon Hunting Investigations. We are searching for the cat-girl maiden which was last seen around here."
-"Aaah, the cat-girl, hehe",
the man responded.
"I am the one you searched for and I am the one you need.
I am the one they call:
G-man."
Carry impatiently wielded her guns in her hands.
-"So you seek that girl which purrrrs.
The one who acts like the shadow in the night.
The one who climbs the trees."
Carry pushed her weapons against each other and slowly made a very annoyed stare.
-"Well well, it's the catgirl you seek and only I know the place.
Search where it is not heaven and not hell, but still don't have the sky.",
the G-man started the riddle.
-"We already searched the internet.",
Petey responded.
-"No, that is not the answer. Let us try again shall we?"
Carry held her guns tight and slowly her body began to shake with anger.
-"The place is not under water but still has water flowing in it."
-"Like in a house?"
-"No, no, no, you are completely wrong again. Let me give you a last chance."
-"OKAY ENOUGH!",
Carry spoke very loud,
"Just tell us where this underground water crossing is or I'll give you a riddle."
-"Very good, my dear.
The name is an anagram and a very hard one indeed",
the G-man responded.
-"Alright, one riddle for you: WHAT is gonna hit you, its a psycho but not a brother?"
-"A Psycho sister?",
the G-man questioned.
-"That's right!",
she said and rushed towards him smacking him down with her shotgun and holding it against his forehead.
-"And now where is this underground water crossing exactly?
Oh and if you respond with any question or riddle you can riddle up your brain from the ground."
The G-man gasped and answered nervously
-"Shinjouku Station water crossing. Go there by using the ladder behind me, but be careful the leader is a strong, bad and tough guy. And now leave me alone!!"
-"Thank you Mr.G and now goodnight",
Carry responded and smacked him unconscious with her shotgun.
Meanwhile Petey was still thinking about the riddle while Carry was robbing the G-man.
-"Okay, we can go now",
Carry said,
-"Hello? Hellooo?"
Petey was still lost in his own thoughts.
-"Well then",
Carry said annoyed and pushed herself against him, squeezing her big breasts against his body.
-"Uhh".
Petey responded now thinking about "something else".
-"I said let's go.",
she said smiling while pushing her guns against his ribs sofly.
-"O-okay",
Petey answered and both went towards the ladder.
-Chapter 2-
-"Alright who is going down first?",
Petey asked his Partner.
-"You, why are you even asking?",
Carry asked.
-"Ya know I could see you in a "special way", eh?",
he responded teasing.
-"And you know you would be the next unconscious guy when you continue teasing?",
Carry responded and pushed her guns against his back,
-"Now hush, down with you."
-"Aye",
said Petey and climbed slowly down the ladder,
"Be careful its slippery."
-"Slippery?
Well then...",
said Carry and jumped down onto him,
"I´ll just land on you instead."
-"Ugg",
Petey moaned when Carry fell onto him,
-"Next time try not to land on my chest, okay?"
-"Stop whining I could just stomp on you instead."
-"That's too true...
Well where did that G-man say they captured the cat-girl?"
-"Nearby the water crossing."
-"Then let us go!",
Petey said excited and pulled out his flashlight-taped magnum again.
After a while they found a little building in a cave near the water crossing.
-"That has to be it!",
Petey whispered and turned off the flashlight, put the gun away and grabbed his longsword.
It is a holy sword, "the holy Sacrifice", made by an holy man, which was smitten using holy water.
Its white knob was decorated with signs of the sacred tribunal, the most holy institution that ever existed.
His silver blade shimmered as the light from above came through and Petey held it in a stabbing position.
-"Will you give me backup?",
Petey asked, not looking back.
-"Yes",
Carry responded and targeted Petey's head,
"I will save your sorry ass again."
Petey grumbled as he sneaked into the cave, prepared for battle, followed by a highly concentrated, dual gun wielding Carry.
-Chapter 3-
"No one in here?",
Petey questioned and looked around the small, by torches lit cave.
He breathed slightly annoyed and leaned against the cave wall.
"Dammit!",
he punched sidewards against the cavewall while holding his sword down.
As soon as his fists hit the wall a click was heard and the room began to move.
-"What a cliché",
Carry commented,
-"Why don´t they put up a bookshelf with a hidden levler like everyone. Secret room movements are soo old. But, nevcertheless, time to gun down some demons.",
Carry smiled and targeted the now open hallway.
Petey looked into the room.
It was filled with Yanki's. Men dressed in a black school clothing with black hats wielding clubs.
On a platform the leader, YankiJ, was standing talking while reading from a black book covered in ancient signs.
Behind him was the chained up cat-girl, unconcious.
-"Be careful",
Carry said quickly,
"These men have demon marks."
-"Good guess, genius.",
a mysterious female voice spoke,
-"They are called the Marked."
Their brains are mushed and they are leaded by the two grand Seducers.
They will attack anything unless it is a part of the Circle of Seduction,
but I think I have to introduce myself to you all first."
Carry wielded her guns into the darkness and Petey held his sword in a defense stance.
-"CHOOO!",
the unknown person yelled and came down from the ceiling with a somersault.
As soon as she touched the ground, she perform a leg-split while holding her two saw-blade-guns against both of their heads.
-"Boom, you're all dead.",
she joked stood up and did a back-flip.
-"Sooo you are the demon hunteys?",
she asked and giggled,
-"Well work on your reflexes you lovely couple.",
she smiled and her glasses shimmered.
-"Anyways, my name is Harley Quinn,",
she played with her "Jester Juggle", a circle-shaped blade, and spun it around her well proportioned hot body like a hula hoop,
-"master genius."
-"A-and y-you are a jester?",
Petey asked confused.
-"Oooh good boy we are smart, eh?",
Harley made a throwing sign,
-"Here is your cookie."
-"Grrr, you are such a Overactor...",
Carry grumbled.
-"Hyaa, I am.",
Harley smiled,
-"Because I am a Jester you know?"
-"Anyways...",
she did a somesault towards Petey,
-"I lost my Lezyluv called Meow, the cat-girl you are searching for. Will ya help me rescuing her? I will reward you, yes I will."
-"Ehh, sure...",
Petey responded confused.
-"Awww you are such a lovely lovely boy thank you soooo much",
Harley sounded excited, grabbed Petey's head and squeezed it against her big breasts, robbing him of his breath,
-"Thank you thank you thank youuuu sooooooo muuuuuuuch!"
Petey's head slowly turned blue.
-"Hey!",
Carry pulled Petey away,
-"Can you be thankful by uhm lets see... NOT KILLING MY PARTNER??!!"
-"Uhh, I am sowwey",
Harley responded sadly,
-"Volcano women.".
Harley put her tongue out.
-"V-V-V-VOLCANO WOMAN???",
Carry screamed and targeted Harley,
-"I'll show you volcano woman!"
-"Well try me, sweetheart.",
Harley teased and winked.
-"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NOBODY will try anyone!",
Petey went between them,
-"Don´t forget we still need to free the catgirl!"
-"Ooohhh, my lovely Meow",
Harley grabbed Petey again,
-"I will tease you, squeeze you, cuddle you and will do very hot and dirrrrty things with youuuu."
-"Uuhh",
Petey moaned in thoughts again.
-"Ahhh",
Harley responded moaning.
-"Hrrrrrr",
Carry grumbled, hitting Petey with her shotgun and Harley with her machine gun,
-"COME BACK TO YOUR SENSES!"
-"Owww",
both responded.
-"Urrrrahhh, Urrrahhhh....",
a deep dark voice was heard,
-"Are ya finished interrupting us?"
All three of them slowly turned around.
YankiJ was speaking angrily and the Marked were looking at them.
-"Woooohhuuuuuuu, play time!",
Harley screamed excited,
-"Let us fight now, hyaa!"
And all three prepared for the battle.
-Chapter 4-
"Zing"
Harley's blade cut trough the air and cleaved the head of some Marked ones clean off.
Carry just shrugged and fired a whole magazine of her machine gun into the crowd.
Meanwhile Petey slashed through the enemy lines while shooting with his magnum at the same time, hitting Marked one in the distance.
Suddenly some Marked one attacked Carry from behind, but she just shot with her shotgun backwards, creating giant holes in their hands and producing a river of blood and gore.
-"Nyaaaa!",
Harley shouted excited and shot some saw-blades into the group before her and more body parts were flying in the air.
-"Aye, this is too much",
Petey said as Harley mowed through the masses and Carry emptied both magazines into them, producing a bloodrain on Harley.
-"Kinky",
Harley moaned as she ripped the jaw clean off of a Marked one.
-"Well",
Petey put his weapons away, reached into his coat and pulled out the "the Soul Cannon", a Supersoaker filled with holy water.
Petey kicked the head off an Marked one as he pumped up the canon.
-"Grrr, you are so embarassing...A SUPERSOAKER...really?",
Carry grumbled while blasting some heads off into pieces with her shotgun.
-"Hyaarrr I like your uhh cannon...",
Harley responded in a naughty voice and juggeled with some body parts which she just cleaved off some Marked one.
-"Alright, here we go!",
Petey said and shot the holy water everywhere on the ground.
The Marked one screamed and fell on the ground and Carry ran back in the hallway.
-"Huh?",
Harley wondered and Petey responded:
-"Oh yeah, they explode shortly after they fall...oh....waiiit...RUN!"
All of the Marked ones eploded into a bloody mess when Petey said the word run.
Gore and guts flew through the air and Harley just danced while being covered in it, while Petey stared confused at her when both got splattered with the gore.
-"Harley come here.
I will use a holy water bomb.",
Petey shouted and used a water bomb.
Both were now clean but wet.
-"Ah well I am not wet, hehehe.",
Carry said and smiled as she came back to Petey and Harley.
-"Ahh, I see ya killed all of the minions ehh? Good job.",
YankiJ played around with his bat and pointed it at Petey.
-"YOU! I offer a proposal. I am YankiJ. I am a Yankii of honor. When you beat me fair in a fistfight I will give you the cat-girl but when you loose you will have to leave.
And NO funny tricks because if you do I will smash your head like a watermelon.
What´cha say?"
-"Sure let us do this!",
Petey directly responded,
"Harley, Carry, please do not interfere it is a honorable manly thing now!"
-"My word you have Gunneyboy",
Harley responded and chuckled.
-"Tzz",
Carry targeted YankiJ,
-"I could just shoot you down instead."
-"Oh?",
YankyJ smiled,
-"Well then try it out."
And Carry shot a whole magazine to him with a sinister laugh.
YankiJ just spinned around his bat and slammed the bullets away.
-"Hah you silly girl, bullets can not stop the leader of the Yankiis ya know?",
YankiJ shouted and made a victory pose.
-"Once again,",
YankiJ pointed again with his bat at Petey,
-"Do ya accept my challenge?"
Petey wore off his weapons and his coat, only wearing then his black shirt which was now wet and tinted red from the blood.
"I accept and you thank you for this honorable challange",
He said and bowed in front of YankiJ, knowing that he wouldn´t attack him off guard.
YankiJ cracked his fists and neck and yelled:
"Alright, then let us fight like REAL MEN and find out who is worthy to get the cat-girl!"
And the battle begun.
-Chapter 5-
Petey got in a fighting position, knowing this would be his only chance to free the cat-girl and save the day.
Could he finally do it? Could he finally beat the super-humanly strong YankiJ?
-"Okay, HERE we GO!",
Petey shouted and threw a punch with all his strength in YankiJ´s direction.
YankiJ just dodged.
-"Ouch...",
Petey fell on the ground hurting his head.
-"Hey that hurt!!",
He screamed while jumping up and landing a strong right hook on YankiJ.
Now he was in a rush. He rushed him with a left hook then an uppercut and ended it with an downward right thrust right on his forehead.
"Hmph, a nice start..."
YankiJ responded in a dry voice,
"But I am not impressed at all.
Now its MY turn!"
And he begun with his offense.
He rushed with a nice left right left right straight boxing combination, jumped a step back and punched his massive fist into Petey's stomache.
Petey flew across the platform, hitting the wall and fell unconscious.
"That was quiiiiick",
Harley said wonderingly with a suprised tone in her voice.
-"Hmph typical Petey",
Carry said not pleased of the outcome.
-"HOLD ON!"
A soft but manly voice was heard, Carry recognized it as the G-man's voice.
It was Jdub, Justin or simply known JewWario, who cracked his jaw from smack from the the shotgun.
-"Sorry that I riddled you but next time try not to smack me unconscious okay?",
Justin smiled at Carry and was wearing his typical yellow school hat.
-"But you are called G-man...",
Carry responded with a suprised voice.
-"No, no, no it's Jayman.J not G. Many people make that mistake.",
Justin smiled and looked up to YankiJ.
-"Well since our good friend Petey is unconscious, I will fight you Yanki!",
Justin pointed at YankiJ,
-"For the love of this good Jester girl! Because when there is true love is the wager, I will FIGHT for it!",
Justin shouted excitedly and entered the fight.
-"Naniiii?",
YankiJ shouted with a suprised voice,
-"O-okay then lets see what you've got!"
YankiJ threw some punches but Justin's aggility was too much for him and dodged every punch.
-"Okay lets try this out!!",
Justin said to himself, he then stored every once power he had in his fists and shouted loud:
-"FOR THE POWER OF LOVE!"
Justin's fist hit Yanki's chin like a bullrush, sending him to the ground.
-"Heh,heh."
YankiJ was out of breath,
-"You beat me JDub. You really did...okay you can have the girl. You were a truely honorable opponent."
YankiJ bowed down and left the place.
Justin rushed down to the nearly awakened cat-girl and freed her out of her shackles.
-"My hero",
The cat-girl, called Meow, moaned to him exaustedly and gave him a kiss on is cheek.
Justin blushed and studdered:
-"U-um-umm you should thank these people over there.
I just fought for the love of Harley."
And he smiled.
-"Sooo noooow",
Harley moaned and jumped Meow,
-"We will be part of your party! Isn´t that a great reward?"
Harley gave Meow a hot kiss and Justin blushed even more.
-"Uhu...okay..",
Carry responded and grabbed Petey's unconcious body up from the ground and all of them left the sewers.
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen